cross Fifth Avenue from an antiwar demonstration yesterday in Manhattan, Steve Durgee, 33, brandished an American flag and a sign that read "Move to France (please!)." Speeding by on Rollerblades, Roger Manning, 46, said, "You people are fools!"

The two men started to yell at each other, then to argue, then to talk. No minds were changed, but in a few minutes the long-haired Mr. Manning and the short-haired Mr. Durgee were saying things like, "I have no problem with discussion," and "Good point."

Americans may not agree on the wisdom of going to war with Iraq, but polls and interviews around New York suggest that the two sides remain on speaking terms. While each side views the other as misguided, so far relatively few are voicing the vitriol about each other that characterized the last period of division over an American war.

Thirty years ago, after a decade of escalating war in Vietnam, slogans like "America, Love It or Leave It" carried an angry punch. This time, the mantra of many New Yorkers seems to be, "Everyone is entitled to his own opinion."

Take Michael Pearson, a 35-year-old carpenter who lives in Long Island City, Queens. He supports President Bush, he said, and thinks the antiwar protests have been counterproductive. But asked if these demonstrations should be permitted, he sounded almost incredulous.

"Oh, of course they should be able to protest, without a doubt," he said. "That's what we're fighting for."

Thirty-three years ago, construction workers beat up antiwar demonstrators on Wall Street and stormed City Hall. Four students were killed by the National Guard during a period of antiwar protests at Kent State. Families feuded over the dinner table. One 1970 Harris poll found that 37 percent of Americans thought that protests against the Vietnam War should be illegal.

Today, 61 percent say Americans who oppose the war should be allowed to hold protest marches and rallies, while 29 percent think that such activity is detrimental to the war effort, according to the latest New York Times/CBS News poll. The poll, based on telephone interviews conducted Sunday and Monday with 1,032 adults nationwide, has a margin of sampling error of plus or minus 3 percentage points.

Of course, just because you believe people can protest does not mean you believe that they should. "Once the war started, you should not protest anymore," said Salvatore Scarlato, 70, of Hauppauge, in Suffolk County, who is a veteran of the Korean War. "You should now say, `Let's support our troops and hope it's over soon.' "

And it is not hard to find war-related nastiness and name-calling (and not just on talk radio).

At the Fifth Avenue antiwar demonstration yesterday morning, outside Rockefeller Center, hecklers called protesters "traitors" and "freaks" and yelled "Get a job!" at young people in the crowd. The protesters in turn called those who disagreed with them "idiots" and tried to drown out dissent by chanting "Peace is patriotic."

The size of the crowd was hard to gauge because there were so many reporters, camera crews, uniformed police officers, plainclothes officers, tourists, kibitzers and people just trying to get to work. Several dozen protesters knocked over police barricades and lay down on Fifth Avenue, closing the road for about 16 minutes. Scattered protests continued during the day; the police said 215 people were arrested.

Those who have studied the Vietnam protests and those who participated in them have several explanations for why discourse may be more civil now. One is simply that these are still the early days of the war.

Disruptive demonstrations can wear out even the most tolerant. And more American casualties could easily harden the positions of both antiwar protesters and those who believe that the most important thing is to support the troops and their commander in chief.

But unlike the Vietnam-era protesters, demonstrators these days have been careful to express their admiration for those serving in the armed forces, and to avoid, for the most part, desecrating American flags. "Everyone is trying to grab the patriotic banner," said Christian G. Appy, whose "Patriots: The Vietnam War Remembered From All Sides," will be published by Viking in May.